for people who haven’t been exposed to trader joes lentils for my wife guy, you’re welcome

undersea animals when a whale dies

HE’S RIGHT AND HE SHOULD SAY IT

“unalive myself” “grippy socks visit to the hospital” “corn addicts” talk like a fucking grown up. seriously.

"Gen z slang came about by cowtowing to algorithms made by large corporations and ad execs, that is SO PUNK compared to millenial slang which is about being individually unique."

Modern "punks" have no idea what punk stands for. In other, more surprising news, water is wet. More on this at 11.

Seriously though, kids these days are so eager to lick boot and call it rebellion. If you say unalive instead of kill because you'll lose your funding, congratz, you let them censor you. "They'lltake away our revenue!" And? Rebellion comes with consequences, change is a fight, protecting your values comes at a cost.

If you never pull at the leash, it doesn't matter how much you bark, you're still going where they want you to.

what the fuck does "grippy socks visit to the hospital" mean

It means getting institutionalised in a mental health facility. These facilities issue socks with grip heels instead of shoes (like toddler socks but in adult sizes) as one of many methods to reduce the patients' access to self harm tools. (It may also be called "grippy sock jail" or "a grippy sock holiday".)

Why are New England and Manhattan clam chowder one option as if Maine hasn't tried to make it illegal to call Manhattan clam chowder "clam chowder?"

EDIT NOTE! Please see my reblog for my apology in forgetting gray as an option!

a war thunder player got so mad about the inaccuracy of an ingame tank they leaked classified british military secrets to prove it’s wrong

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Originally posted by gifpic

Originally posted by saintofpride201

the demons in hell must be having a riot there's all these rumors about crowley and aziraphale dating and allegedly theres a picture of them together and then 90 years later you hear that a demon and angel ran off to alpha centauri and you're like oh must be crowley and aziraphale they've been a thing for ages but NO its your boss beelzebub (ex boss now, apparently) and heaven's supreme archangel fucking gabriel. like how do you go back to work after hearing this

#oh yeah no souls were getting tortured in hell that day#everyone was standing around the fire cooler chatting#even the spider that eats nazis over and over again (via @fuckyeahisawthat)

#ultimate ally mom: forgot child was trans and gave wrong sex talk (tags from @findafight)

LMAO I LAUGHED SO HARD

The Chicken Statues